My Writing: Chapter 9

Okay, after rewriting some paragraphs  about three times , I finally decided to go back with the original paragraphs for now.  But never know with me, I might decide to rewrite this chapter again.

Ever had one of those days when the characters did not seem to fit into some scenes. Well, that’s how this Chapter was for me.

 

Chapter 9: Poisoned  
I was disappointed when Merlin mysteriously left me. I have hope to see him  again. However, as evening approached, Merlin was nowhere in sight.
Now, I watched from the corner of the great hall as the newcomers.  I watched the well-dressed men and women sitting around, the large wooden table, where ale and foods were being served. I noticed the Earl of Huntingdon seated beside his daughter and the young sandy brown haired, bearded man with blue eyes, whom eyes kept staring back towards me. (I know will have to rewrite this paragraph)
Oh my. I  quickly turned towards  Lancelot and Elaine whom, came towards me when young Galahad who seemed curious.
“My sweet cousin, please join us at the main table with Arthur and Guinevere.” Lancelot said cheerfully.
No, this was not right. I felt the strange  pull of strong energy.
“Oh, Lancelot, let your cousin enjoy herself.” Elaine said dully, “There is Bors with Brisen.”
Something was not right here, I felt this evil presence and saw a dark aura come across the whole room. Oh Merlin where are you? I silently thought
Somewhere you will never find, Princess. An evil voice snared towards me as I glanced around at the crowd. A dark figure lurk in the corners. 
“Have some ale?” Elaine said, handing me the goblet. 
I was thirsty and it would be rude to refuse this offer. “Thank you.’ I said as I lifted it to my mouth, I met the young king’s shocked glance, I swallow the liquid that tasted funny; however, I did not say anything as I was offered more.
I was thirsty and it would be rude to refuse this offer. “Thank you.” I lifted it to my mouth, I met the young king’s shocked and furious glance. The liquid tasted funny, I did not say anything as I was offered more.
Be very careful, Verona. A voice echoed in my mind.
I am through being careful!  Feeling bitter and discourage, I had no idea why I felt this way, then it hit me. Within minutes I felt light as a feather. My throat began to burn hot. No, there was something in this drink! My stomach began to churn, I cover my mouth suddenly now.(Okay I will be rewriting this part. I want to show not tell.)
“Are you okay?” Lancelot asked, noticing my face that probably looked pale now.
I shook my head, I hurried out of the great hall and into the garden and right smack into Breuse who had a servant in his arms. Before anyone could say or do anything a wave of nausea came over  in the fine garden roses. (I will write a better description to this part.)
A second later, Breuse and his young woman rushed over to my side, however, the man did not come to show concern.
“What do you think you were doing coming out here like this?” He asked furiously now. “The duchess will hear of this.”
Oh, his attitude was getting me pissed off by the minute, I narrow my brown eyes and said, “No one tells me, where I cannot go or where to be sick at, Mister.”  A wave of nausea came over me once again. “Oh my, not again.”
“What is the meaning of this?” A tall, dark haired man with dark brown eye asked furiously, just as I made a fool of myself once more in the flowers garden again. “Oh, she is ill. Get Merlin at once!”
Before I could say another word I went side way into the darkness again.
No! A stranger exclaimed grabbing the young lady. 

 

 

Okay, I wanted to make these last two sentences mysterious and intriguing. I also wanted to introduce this mysterious stranger, whom a few secrets and surprises as well. Now, onto the next Chapter, before I start deleting a few paragraphs.

 

 ©V.ROSE DEMET ™ 2014

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