My Writing: Editing Chapter 2

Okay, after editing  Chapter Two  for the fourth time. I think  I am ready to move on to the next Chapter. But never know with me. If I read it again, I might find something wrong with the first paragraph.  (This paragraph I wrote twice since last week) Even though I did edit this Chapter I may have miss some words.

 

Chapter Two: Here And Now

It was late afternoon and raining when I left the cottage William had rented.“If I never hear or see you again, it will be for the best, Mr. Scotts!” I exclaimed furiously, running out the door and into the thick trees. I was so ticked off, to notice how heavy it started to rain or the coldness around me.My clothing was plastered to my skin, making me shake a bit.
“Do not go out there, my Love.” I heard him shout, but too late, I was already half
on the wooden bridge with tears in my eyes, I did not notice the sign, only a woman calling my name on the side of the bridge in the water.
“I did not understand.” I said, confused feeling a little shaky to my shoulders and soft lips over mine. However, I could not open my eyes just yet.
“I know only another true sorcerer who studies under Merlin and he will know that you know this also, my dear child.” she said, “Take heart and fear him not.”
***
Why was she sleeping and breathing hard? He silently thought with his hands on her exposed shoulder, her skin was soft and smooth. As he glanced down her pale face that had an even tan from wherever she had come from. If he really wanted to see he could use his magic to see, however, there was too much dark magic in this area, for him to focus right and he sure did not want his enemies to realize there was an outsider from a different time here.
****
My eyelashes blink as whoever lips descended onto mine or was it also a dream.
No, it is not, my sweet love. A male voice echoed in a distant in my mind now.
I open my eyes to find Merlin icy stare towards the strange curly blonde haired woman with green eyes at my side. I recognized her instantly and felt pure hatred for what she had done to me. No, Guinevere. I silently thought to myself.
Do not deny who are you, child. A male’s voice said in a far off distant.
“Oh Merlin,” the blonde haired woman said in a sorrowful tone, “You did not say she was injured badly. Just look at that bruise on her forehead a right hand.”
I stared in disbelief towards the blonde haired woman for only a moment before Merlin’s hand came over the top of my right hand, where there was a nasty bluish color. A sensation shot through my body as I glance towards Merlin, who kept his expression unreadable now. “Ouch, that hurt.” I said as he let go of my hand suddenly now.
“Is her hand broken?” the blonde haired woman asked with concern, however, her green eyes had this sinister look.
Why should this bother her? I wondered to myself as I saw concern in Merlin’s blue eyes before it became cold again.
“No, Guinevere.” he said puzzled. Why had I missed these marks, “I have some salve in my room.”

“Why don’t you fetch it for our guest? Guinevere said innocently , “I will keep our guest company.”  (Okay, I had to re word this sentence.)

If he refuses, then she would know what he knew about her and would ruining everything.”I will be right back,” he said soberly.
©V.ROSE DEMET ™2014

 

Okay, in the last paragraph I wanted to show a little tension.  Now,  onto my next Chapter. Hopefully, I do not decide  to re edit the whole Chapter again.

 

 

 

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