Okay, I looked over this Chapter and out of the last two chapters, I feel this one might be okay. I said might be, meaning if I read it once more, I will probably find something wrong or want to reword the paragraphs again.
Okay, I wanted to throw in a surprise for one of my character in this chapter.
Chapter 3: The Danger (I finally have one title that fits well.)
Maria St. Rose was heading towards her red car when she met up with the youngest of the Reynolds’ member.
The five foot five younger woman had her hair tight back, she had on a pair of faded black jean and a dark green shirt. This color made her appear mystical with secrets.( Okay, I was wrong I might have to look at this part again to give better description of the clothing. )
You know who she is, Maria. A distant voice echoed.
There is no doubt in her mind, Gwenlyn Reynolds and Olivia Tagenet resemble.
With this fact, she will not let anyone from Moon Isle realize this.
“Oh, but he must to break the curse.” A female’s voice echoed in the wind.
“Hi Maria, how’s it going?”She could not help get this distinct feeling the other woman had her mind elsewhere.
“The usual,” she said puzzled.”You’re going somewhere?”
Her smile spread throughout her youthful face, “Yes, Mr. Fergus is taking me and his granddaughter Alisa to see the new foul.”
Oh boy! She and William told Hank Reynolds to restrict his family and ranch hands access to the ten-acre ranch, until back up from their company arrived. “There is a new foul, how nice.” she said with interest, “Can I see it from here?”
“No, it’s in the southern pasture near the old Bend stream.” Gwenlyn said, “You are welcome to come with us?”
“Sorry Gwen, I have to go into Valentines today.” Unaware of the coldness, she slipped into her hot car.
Gwenlyn did notice the change, a cool breeze passed near her shoulders, “Will you be back for the Millsom’s party?”
Do not let her go! A voice echoed in the back of her mind.
One moment Gwenlyn glanced towards the open pasture the next she saw a distant castle and flag in blood, she blinked the horrible imagine away. (Okay this part I might keep it or might not.)
Breath child, it must be. A strange voice echoed in her conscious.
“I’ll be back for the party.”
“Are you ready Miss Gwenlyn?” the grayish hair middle-aged bearded man asked with his ten years old granddaughter at his side.
“Oh yes Mr. Fergus,” she said, “Talk to you later Maria.”
“Bye Gwen.” Maria said, as a strange feeling came over her
Thirty minutes later after a mile ride through a thick oak and pine forest, they came to the southern side of the ranch. Here there few oak trees with many colorful flowers for miles away. A wooden fence was the only thing that bordered the property line from a gravel road. (I might have to do a better description in this area I feel that something is missing.)
The white and brown pony and its mother grazed near an oak and pecan trees.
“Look the pony.” Alisa said pointing towards the horse now.
Gwenlyn glanced towards the place and her hair on her arms shot up t
You must leave now! A voice echoed into the wind.
Bang! A bullet came flying their way.
One moment Gwenlyn was on her horse the next on the ground and shield in the arms of a solid built man, who held her tightly, as bullet flew.
“Don’t move Gwenlyn.” William said checking her arms. “Are you hurt?”
Why did he remind her of someone she once… She glanced up into his dark blue eyes and shook her head. She went into total darkness.
Okay, I wanted to give a sense of danger and mystery here.
And on to Chapter Four
- How to Use Scrivener to Edit Your Book (whilethekidsaresleeping.wordpress.com)