Okay, this is my edited chapter one, which I feel the first paragraph does not giving enough detail or maybe too much. I am debating on keeping this scene or writing it better, which will be the sixth time.
CHAPTER ONE: The CASE ( I might change the title on this one also.)
When I started writing this chapter some months ago, I wanted to give a detail on these two characters without saying too much on who Maria or William is.
Loud music played in the shadowy smoke-filled bar room, on the north side of the small southern town of Estherville, Louisiana. Here a young curly-haired brunette woman with violet eyes met a dark-haired, tanned, bearded, six-foot stranger, with eyes that was as dark as the midnight sky, at the far end corner table. She thought by sitting here, they have a normal conversation and not attract attention. Boy, was she wrong, leave it to her partner, of four years, to draw in every lonely women in this place.
She had to admit his tight dark tee-shirt, shown his bicep muscles and those tight black jeans made him look sexy. This made any women have fantasy including her. His blue eyes warned them off. ( Whenever, I read this sentence, I wanted to give a better description of this dark and hansom stranger. Oh, and in this Chapter, I did not find any missing words. As for grammar I may have missed some, I am hoping I did not. )
- Chapter One Preview & Page Update (andrewmileswriting.wordpress.com)